As you reach 30 and beyond, you encounter a very frightening phenomena.

At first you hardly notice it. Dont want to notice it. Cant accept that its happening. But little by little, recognition dawns as does the shock.

First theres your hairdresser, whose blank eyes seem to be focused on anything but your dyed locks her practiced hands are dressing.

Then theres the bank-teller, looking as though he should still be at school, explaining to you the finer points of banking procedure too loudly and too clearly, almost as if he thinks youve just dropped in on planet earth and banking is a novelty to you.

And then, the bitterest blow of all.

Youre sitting on a bar stool, new hair-do, new outfit, looking absolutely drop-down gorgeous, when you see this young fellow smiling warmly as he begins to move in your direction. In the middle of your own gratified answering smile, you realize with horror, that hes smiling at your neighbour. A fifteen year old with a fake ID and make-up put on with a trowel.

Thats when it hits you. Youre becoming invisible.

In a culture that will see the majority of men and women marry more than once and sometimes when theyre fifty, sixty and even older its difficult for an older couple not to notice the effect theyre having on the younger generation. If they also happen to choose a honeymoon playground largely patronized by the very young, they cant avoid seeing how their togetherness seems to arouse smiles and nudges.

To counter the feeling of reduction, and to assert themselves as people in their own rights, older couples tend to react in two different ways. There are those that adopt all the attributes of the very young acting, talking, dressing as if they were, in fact, twenty years younger than they are. At the other extreme, they become the grumpy old men and women who fail to see anything of value in the youth-worshiping world of today.

Those imitating youth, sooner or later reach the conclusion that acting like a young goat is not only not satisfying, but actually gives them that hollow feeling of being less than they are.

But just because they decide to stop imitating youth, doesn't mean that now they have to go the way of the grumps. Perhaps the world isnt the way it used to be, but being open to new ideas as youth tends to be, allows you to feel less like a visitor in your own world. It may even help you to enjoy life on your own terms.